CHARLOTTEOPIA

*Insert Godly choir here*

Oh look...a Godly choir...

Anyway my blogees, it has been a while.

Let me clasp your internet hands and drag you back in time a moment..

to a previous post created by yours truly all about why I am not allowed/cannot drive...

http://albi-no-life.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/vroom-vroom-crash.html

I'll just sit here whilst you check it out...

You back?

Good.

(Keep that post in mind whilst I commence)

Let me ask you a question:

Who owns the world?

Well...?

The answer: NO ONE.

Now let me present to you a statement:

IT IS LEGAL FOR YOU TO DRIVE ON YOUR OWN PRIVATE LAND WITHOUT A LICENCE. 

Yes sadly this is news to me..I am a bit slow..

THEREFORE...

If I owned the Earth..hint hint...

I could drive anywhere...

That's right..Charlotteopia...

Maybe not..

Although the Earth is rocking that hat and glasses...

Still, I can purchase some land to drive on- Keeping it realistic.

F*** Realistic I will own the Earth and you will all be my minions. 

Albi-Lympics.

This post has taken a sporting theme (Inspired by the Olympics of course)

I am simply going to inform you about my various..sporting... anecdotes...

Which consist of a lot of:

...

And...:

Ahem...

So clearly I'm not the most 'able sportswoman' of 2012 BUT I do try.

and fail...

story number 1) My P.E class was taken to a GRASSY field and I was given a GREEN javelin (Bet you can guess where this is going...) So I threw my javelin (NOT VERY FAR AT ALL), went to collect it, then decided to walk into the pointy end sticking out of the ground...

Story number 2) I got hit in the face with a netball. When I wasn't even playing a netball match. I was standing at the side. 

Many meters away from the match.

here is a list of sporting equipment that has hit Charlotte in the face:

• Tennis balls

• Footballs

• Basketballs

• Shuttlecocks 

• Frisbees

• Sponge balls.

• One of those giant exorcise ball things...

• Babies. 

What can I say..my face just attracts balls..

Get your minds out of the gutter please...so we can continue...

I want my own version of the Olympics :)

You've seen the Olympics

You've seen the para-lympics...

but never before have you seen the Albi-Lympics.

I would have sports like:

the 100cm race...

(Albi-Snail)

The 3legged race:

(Albi-Monkey)

the 1000m swim

(Albi-Dolphin)

And lastly...

Tickets to my Albi-Lympics would be much easier to get hold of than the ones at the moment..

cough cough

Anyone else think 'Albi-Lympics' sounds like a disease? 

Give me your BLOOD..actually no..don't..not you...

Albi-related???

Maybe, Maybe not.

So, I went to give blood...

On Friday the 13th 

You know..to save lives and all that...

Sadly my Albi-blood will save no lives. as they DID NOT TAKE IT.

I spend half an hour sitting in the waiting area (which- by the way..was more depressing than the waiting area at Argos...if such a thing is possible) listening to Magic FM, s******* myself, (if you'll pardon the French) hoping the song Bleeding Love didn't come on.

I think they didn't take it because my blood is this colour: 

They thought...best not take that...too PRECIOUS...

Wait, Albino's don't have liquid gold blood????

Mind the...Step...

Just me???????

I am very attached to the Earth.

When I say 'Earth' I mean the floor in general.

When I say 'I am attached' I mean I fall over a lot.

I'm not sure if this is just me...maybe it's an Albino thing. I TRIP OVER EVERYTHING. 

^ Me.

I trip over my own feet sometimes...who does that.

You know what else I trip on?- Air

AIR

AND- I walk into things...then apologise to inanimate objects?

"Sorry....chair...?" 

and then..people turn and say 'there's a chair there.'

...really?

Maybe it really is an Albi thing...I trip up on curbs a lot, maybe I just don't look where I'm walking.

That brings me onto something else.

This really is al Albi thing I prommise.

Sometimes I don't see cars coming...even when I look both ways..

^ Partially see what I did there ;)

But I just step out anyway, then I remember...

1) CARS ARE HUGE.

2) I HAVE EARS?!

It's nice to recognise one's own stupidity.

Albi-Out

Daymmm...

vgicyfurgyiobjjj <- One smashing one's head into the keyboard of her laptop out of pure frustration at the British Education system, but primarily at those who fail to take advantage of said system.

Moving swiftly on before this turns into another Grammar rant. 

Firstly: I would like to share some 'rap' lyrics with you that I have slightly tweaked.

If you want to make it Albino related...step far back and try to read it, whilst covering one eye (Go on- pretend to be partially sighted for a bit...I do it all the time.) 

"Now here I bring you a tale explaining how my entire life was rotated and placed in n upside down manor. I would like to take a moment, so please remain seated, I wish to inform you of how I became royalty in an unfamiliar place to me: Bel air.

In the opposite of the state of East Philadelphia, where I was brought up I enjoyed spending most of my leisure time in the local playground where amongst things such as 'relaxing' and 'chilling' I enjoyed playing the occasional game of basketball or 'B-Ball' if you will. When one day I noticed a group of gentleman who were misbehaving and began creating a rucus in my street. I found myself in a minor incident to which my mother did not find herself particularly fond of, therefore she decided twas best for me to vacate my home and take up residence with my Aunt and Uncle in Bel air"

Oh snap.

I think I should take up rap, do we agree?

Let's leave the decision to the Disapproving Albino Hedgehog...

To keep it Albi-related...here is a cute picture of an Albi-Creature:

Al-bii

Army of clones...

Hello All.

It's been a while.

But I'm back now...so relax.

Recently I was conversing with an acquittance of mine whom informed me of a new girl starting in year 7 at my school. A fellow Albino.

I myself- being an albino- am 1 in 10,000

now my school has 2 albinos.

We're very greedy.

Moving on...

Whilst conversing with said acquittance we got onto the topic of Chessington world of adventures- For me it's the closest thing the human race can get to Narnia.

^ We love a bit of Narnia.

My thoughts turned to a section of Chessington that I am fond of:

BEANOLAND!!!

Love a bit of BeanoLand.

So I couldn't help but think...:

A land full of Albino's and joy.

It'd be brighter than the sun on a hot day.

We must hope it never snows...everyone would be lost...

MAKE IT HAPPEN CHESSINGTON. 

AlbinoLand...not snow

Giant balls of Death...

Please do not take the title of this post in the wrong way, pick up what remains of your minds from the gutter and read on...

Before I get to the Albi-Business...I am going to have a rant.

A Grammar rant.

BU-BUT ITS NOT ABOUT ALBINISM?!

Calm down Kitty- I'll get there.

Here is a selection of words that appear to puzzle the select few:

Your

You're

There

They're

Their.

Here is a statement combining all of these words- And also my frustration with the world.

I blame the fact YOU'RE unable to comprehend correct grammar on YOUR education, but mainly I just blame the parents, THEY'RE the reason you can sit THERE and think what YOU'RE saying is correct. Then you get people like me, who have to read these errors and bite THEIR tongues in disgrace with eyes full of tears of hate. 

ITS-NOT-THAT-HARD-IS-IT?

P***** OFF Disapproving Albino hedgehog says NO.

Rant over. (My grammar rants are never over)

 And now to speak about the Giant Ball of DEATH.

here it is:

Yes...the Sun.

It has been refereed to as my foe...And it will always remain so..my Foe...

Whilst the normal amongst us think:

And:

The majority of the Milky- Bar kids think:

Oh S***

No...Not again...

What do we do...OMG...

AHH HELL NAW.

I'M STAYING INSIDE.

bye everyone- I really must go inside.