Albino? More like albiYES

Hello readers.

How nice it is to partially see you again.

I am going to start off by apologising for my lack of posts, It was sunny so I had to retract back into my cave...then it got snowy so I lost myself...

 Yeah I'm lying....

....There was no snow.

Yeah so the real reason was because I was going to university then leaving university because I didn't like that university so finding new universities to apply to next year.

Ohh what am I like.

On with the posting!

OK SO 

Char (Me) found an Albino song.

And here it is for your entertainment:

Watch it, I will wait.

Back? Done? Finitio?

Triffic.

Yeah I like the video, but disagree with some points..some of us ARE KILLERS.

not a confession, I just have bad days.

SO ANDY AND HAMISH (The video guys) were correct

Us Albis do play a lot of bad guys.

Maybe it's because we're..so...you know...

Yeah that, thanks Justin.

So what films have we played Stabby white people

THE DA VINCI CODE

COLD MOUNTAIN

THE MATRIX - RELOADED

THE TIME MACHINE

ME, MYSELF, & IRENE

END OF DAYS

DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR

POWDER

THE SIMPSONS HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

STAR TREK DEEP SPACE NINE "BLOOD OATH" 

THE FIRM

LETHAL WEAPON

THE PRINCESS BRIDE

VAMP

STICK

FOUL PLAY

THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUDGE ROY BEAN

THE EIGER SANCTION

THE OMEGA MAN

ALBINO

Hmm 'Albino'...I wonder what that's about...

Fridges maybe?

Yeah fridges.

A very happy Albino there ^

Till the next time dear readers.

*slow fade*

Albemo

Greetings readers.

I am spoiling you with 2 posts in 2 days but what can you do...

So strap in, clean the screen and prepare for another post. 

my lovely brother...

...yeh

questioned what an Albino Emo would be like

I named them Albemos.

Buuuut it seems someone already had that idea

Check out the urban dictionary article about it:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=albemo

Done?

Back?

Sure?

Good.

So naturally I googled this phenomenon known as the 'Albemo'

The usual suspects came up:

With some new ones:

I approve of Albemo horse 

(Thinking of making him a regular feature...thoughts?)

Oh this also came up:

So yeah those are Albemos apparently.

Google at your own risk.

Oh look regular feature...

Bye

Liar Alert.

Hello again my lovely avid readers. 

I greet you again with much more angst (as per usual, I don't like change)

As an albino with a luscious weave (It's not a weave)...

...I have in the past...dyed it.

(Fear not! Going back to my roots shortly)

So in the matter of one dye 

I went from this:

To this:

(For legal reasons I should point out that neither of those women are me...)

This brings me onto the main point of this post

PHOTO IDENTIFICATION.

Here are my 2 different types of ID 200BD (Before Dye)

(partially see what I did there?)

So. type 1:

All well and good. lalala. 

I blend just fantastically into the white background of the card. 

Type 2:

Oh look I still blend nicely into the the wall in which the picture was taken.. 

tralala..

Now

a more recent picture:

DISREGARD THE FACT I LOOK LIKE A SERIAL KILLER.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?!

Needless to say whenever I hand over my more recent ID it gets looked at for quiiiite a while...

Have fun sleeping tonight folks.

Albye now

Albuh bye now.

Albino Cave Dwellers

Greetings

So a friend of mine stumbled across something whilst we were...

hmm..how to put this gently..

thinking up funny names to describe a penis.

said friend has discovered that a name for this part of the male anatomy...can be refered to as an:

Albino Cave Dweller

OR...As urban dictionary puts it:

another word for the penis of a caucasian man.

"In the pants of a ban lerks a vial creature known as the albino cave dweller."

So my only option from here was to go a little deeper...If you'll pardon the pun

And thus, that same friend discovered a film

about Albino

Cave

Dwellers

Alas it is not a film about big old dancing...

...yeah

Here it is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Waits_Below

Maybe watch it or something, let me know how it is

Cave-dweller out. 

P.S

If you Google image AlbinoCaveDwellers (In the interest of science of course) Gollum will find his way there somehow

Always.

Well Albi-Dammed!

^ That is my new catchphrase for when I'm shocked.

Feel free to say it out-loud while reading through this post, I don't judge.

Yep, I'm funny 

Now this is where S*** gets serious.

I have a confession to make.

My confession is.

That I used to want to be...

A

Big

Black

Basketball

Player

Michael Jordan doesn't approve. 

It's kind of hard being a big black basketball player when you look like this:

I'm shitting you, I look like this, of course:

A face only a mother could love.

But you know what?

NO.

I WILL BE MICHAEL JORDAN.

Hells yea.

To do list:

Grow a few feet

Change gender

Black-up

Learn how to play basketball

Well albi-dammed that's a lot of work.

I'll keep ya'll updated

Live long and Albi-prosper. 

We meet again Mr Bond...

It's 2013!

But then again I suppose you already knew that.

I do indeed apologise for my lack of posts!

I've had a lot of men work to do recently. 

So let's begin this first post of 2013 by complaining about the weather.

That's right...the snow.

I'd like to share some of my tweets during the falling cloud period with you...

Charlotte Rodford ‏@Char__Izard

Fly tiny albinos fly!

Charlotte Rodford ‏@Char__Izard

Snowflakes are tiny Albino people. #CallMeSnowflake #AlbiWeather

Charlotte Rodford ‏@Char__Izard

Keep your albinos on a lead today, don't want any of them getting lost #AlbiWeather

You get the idea. 

The last one didn't go down very well..anyway, let's play a game

Can you spot all the Albis in this picture?

I'll give you a clue, there's 37.

and a few ferrets.

I jest of course. 

I'll leave you with an Albino pun

or #AlbiPun if you're 'hip'

Until next time day dwellers.

Albi-out.

Can't say fairer than that...

After receiving an angry text question my blogging whereabouts, Here I am.

Call off the search.

so FRANTICALLY I have been searching for something to blog about, and I have found it.

They say laughter is the best medicine so I thought I'd bring to you some albi-jokes courtesy of sickipedia. 

Prepare yourselves.

If you feel offended at any point during these jokes and feel you wish to inform me about it, you can contact me on:

0777...

So let the games begin...

I was haggling with a Albino, he gave me a great price,

You can't say fairer than that.

^ should be my reaction, instead...

me:

I got suspended from my job as a teacher today for telling one of my students that he was the brightest kid in class. I didn't realise Albinos were so f****** sensitive.

I saw an Albino Polar Bear once.

"How do you know it was Albino?"

...It was Black.

What does an Albino threesome look like?

A Custard Cream

Yeah if you laughed at the last one...I ask you to look at the top GIF.

and then...

I accept cheques.

Albi-out.