CHARLOTTEOPIA

*Insert Godly choir here*

Oh look...a Godly choir...

Anyway my blogees, it has been a while.

Let me clasp your internet hands and drag you back in time a moment..

to a previous post created by yours truly all about why I am not allowed/cannot drive...

http://albi-no-life.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/vroom-vroom-crash.html

I'll just sit here whilst you check it out...

You back?

Good.

(Keep that post in mind whilst I commence)

Let me ask you a question:

Who owns the world?

Well...?

The answer: NO ONE.

Now let me present to you a statement:

IT IS LEGAL FOR YOU TO DRIVE ON YOUR OWN PRIVATE LAND WITHOUT A LICENCE. 

Yes sadly this is news to me..I am a bit slow..

THEREFORE...

If I owned the Earth..hint hint...

I could drive anywhere...

That's right..Charlotteopia...

Maybe not..

Although the Earth is rocking that hat and glasses...

Still, I can purchase some land to drive on- Keeping it realistic.

F*** Realistic I will own the Earth and you will all be my minions. 

Albi-Lympics.

This post has taken a sporting theme (Inspired by the Olympics of course)

I am simply going to inform you about my various..sporting... anecdotes...

Which consist of a lot of:

...

And...:

Ahem...

So clearly I'm not the most 'able sportswoman' of 2012 BUT I do try.

and fail...

story number 1) My P.E class was taken to a GRASSY field and I was given a GREEN javelin (Bet you can guess where this is going...) So I threw my javelin (NOT VERY FAR AT ALL), went to collect it, then decided to walk into the pointy end sticking out of the ground...

Story number 2) I got hit in the face with a netball. When I wasn't even playing a netball match. I was standing at the side. 

Many meters away from the match.

here is a list of sporting equipment that has hit Charlotte in the face:

• Tennis balls

• Footballs

• Basketballs

• Shuttlecocks 

• Frisbees

• Sponge balls.

• One of those giant exorcise ball things...

• Babies. 

What can I say..my face just attracts balls..

Get your minds out of the gutter please...so we can continue...

I want my own version of the Olympics :)

You've seen the Olympics

You've seen the para-lympics...

but never before have you seen the Albi-Lympics.

I would have sports like:

the 100cm race...

(Albi-Snail)

The 3legged race:

(Albi-Monkey)

the 1000m swim

(Albi-Dolphin)

And lastly...

Tickets to my Albi-Lympics would be much easier to get hold of than the ones at the moment..

cough cough

Anyone else think 'Albi-Lympics' sounds like a disease?