It's all down hill from here...

So...as mentioned previously in the blog.

I get asked questions,

So optimistically, I Googled 'most frequently asked questions on albinism" (as recommended by a friend of mine)

do we think this was a good idea?

Disapproving Albino Hedgehog says no...

So here goes...

1. Is it true that albinos don’t die, they just disappear?

No...wrong.

We don't die. we regenerate.

Clearly.

2. When I was young I was told that when you are approaching an albino you have to spit on your chest to turn away albinism curse. Is this true?

*Insert above hedgehog here*

3. Can I sleep or share the same meal with albinos without having myself turning into an albino?

You only become albino if said albino licks your face 

(So I suppose I owe a few people some apologies) 

^ Be careful...very careful...

Albi-Out. 

your country needs YOU.

So now it's down to you...

I need you

(not like that, bit weird...)

I need my lovely viewers to get in contact and ask questions, whatever they may be.

feel free to critique the blog, give me some advice, and as previously mentioned, ask me questions.

(even if they are stupid)

How to contact me:

this is my Tumblr (you can ask me questions on it): http://un-naturalselection.tumblr.com/

this is my Twitter (tweet me any time): https://twitter.com/#!/RoddyFordy

Or even just contact me on here.
whatever works for you dear viewers 

Would you like to be my carer?

Greetings.

I BRING YOU BREAKING NEWS.

******************************

I. Get. Discounts.

Yes, as "out of order" and "bare unfair" and "well outz" as that is..I do indeed get discounts for places such as London dungeons, Chessington world of adventures, that sort of thing.

(even longleat)

So I can see things like this:

cheaper than you b******

You're probably not...

but.

I can get other people discounts too.

(This does NOT mean I can pass on Albinism like a spastic hat. ok?)

(No it doesn't work for retail shops such as:

for example: I get discount at Chessington..so do the 2 people whom I take- as they would be seen as my 'carers' 

So naturally they should do everything for me right?

take me to the toilet and such?

they don't.

Privileges

As an albino...and with the awful eyesight I have been tarnished with, I have a few entitlements in life.

I think I receive them as compensation for God not allowing me to drive...

Firstly, I have an 'M' card, which is respectively a disability card.

I call it my sex offender card.

(I am not a sex offender)

I call it that because it has a photo of me on it, and much like those with passport/ Oyster card photos, I looked like a sex predator.

Like this:

Moving swiftly on...

In exams I am allowed up to 25% extra time.

So whilst you b**** are panicking about your time limits...I can lean back, possibly put my feet up...pop to Tesco..that sort of thing

I very very rarely use my extra time, because I am certain that I don't need it, also, I don't think it's very fair to other people either- That I get extra time.

Following on from this...

what really grinds my bean is when examiners/ teachers' God botherers...shout out my extra time in front of a large number of people.

Disapproving Albino Hedgehog says no...don't do that...

(Just joking about the God botherers...comic affect and all)

"So what's the point of holidays?"

.... .. .... . .... .. ...... .. ...

^ Hello all.

(I don't need brail to read but it's nice to go above and beyond sometimes.

So..recently I explained the indulgences of the albino life to a friend of mine

naturally her first question was 'so what's the point of you lot going on holiday?'

By "YOU LOT" I think she means the Albino population.

My reaction:

translation: why people so silly?

Understandably, I knew what she meant 

She was referring to the fact we do not tan (as previously mentioned in the blog)

So yes...When I see a picturesque scene such as this...

I think...

BUT..just because the sun exists...does not mean I cannot drown in the spoils of it.

All I need is factor 900000 and I'm on my way.

because- remember- I am NOT allergic to the flying ball of fire we call 'the sun'

I give you my word

Sadly, being amongst a lovely tanned group of people who look like poster boys/ girls for Hollyoaks..makes me feel a bit like:

In case you didn't get the joke...It's because I'm pale.

Enjoy your day.

Partially see you soon.

I WILL answer to Albi.

Nice to partially see you again.

Get it?

Referring back to a previously mentioned question.

Are your parents black??

No

they are not...I have black cousins but they don't count in this.

But yes, as hard as it is to believe Indian/Black/Asian etc parents can have an Albino baby

I wont go into the science of it, It'll bore both myself and you.

Here is an example of it ^

At least we know where the song 'Ebony and Ivory' came from

Freaky s*** right?

^ He certainly thinks so.

More frequently asked questions...

As promised..more questions.

The difference this time being that these are not so much 'silly' as..'asked way too much' 

"Can you tan?" Is a big one.

NO<- in a nutshell

whilst the most of the human race are:

Albinos are:

*We even sparkle I swear*

Respectively, we are the Vampires of the human realm (A title I would not mind on my gravestone) 

BUT

BUT

BUT

there is an albivantage (an advantage to being albino) 

I. Never. Get. Grey.Hair. 

So...when you lot are:

I will be:

Basically..when I'm 65 I'll be 35 (F*** da system)

And I leave you with one final stupid question.

5. Do Albino's live as long as NORMAL people?

Disapproving Albino Hedgehog says WHAT??

.

Vroom Vroom Crash.

This next post is one about what all my 17 year old friends take for granted: Driving.

Due to my disgracefully poor vision, I will never be allowed to drive. (Don't feel bad for me..I have chauffeur options)

And when I say my eyesight is bad..I mean it is dreadful

ev9fuwbhipdmkos <- That's meant to say 'so let's commence' but I couldn't see the keyboard. 

Repeating what I previously explained: I cannot drive..(Althought...They do let me on the bumper cars and the lego cars at legoland- That's good enough for me)

As much as I would love to drive this:

It would end up like this:

And we don't want that to happen do we?

Disapproving Albino Hedgehog says 'No' 

And I agree with him. 

"I have a question..."

The second post I bring to you is one of..dismay.

It will consist of a list of questions I have been asked during my 17 years on this charming planet.

Before I state said questions...I am going to give you a list of characteristics:

--I have BLUE eyes.

--My eyes shake rapidly due to the Nystagmus (Nystagmus is an uncontrolled movement of the eyes, usually from side to side)

--Light hair, eyebrows and eyelashes. (And no, most of us don't like the colour- Most of us don't like standing out like a dog at a snail race...Althought I can't speak for all of us)

Basically..we are this Boy's assistants: (He's the milky-bar kid in case you didn't know)

^He seems to be pretty Okay with it in that photo.

On to the questions...

1. Are you allergic to the sun?

Someone asked me this whilst we were both sitting in the sun

2. Are your parents black?

No.

3. Can you see in the dark?

*I pretty much walked away during the conversation at this point...in the dark Ironically*

(This one is more of a statement said to me)

4. You can't be a real Albino coz' you don't have red eyes.

My reaction:

(a.k.a- B**** please...)

I will bring more questions soon..It's getting dark so I must lurk the streets looking for companionship..because Albinos are like foxes.

So let's begin...

Hi. 

My name is Charlotte Julia Rodford and this is my blog- "AlbiLife". Hopefully by the title of the blog you can understand what it is about.

I am a self- confessed Albino and to quote Lady GaGa (I was born that way)

I suppose this blog is really for all my Albino sisters(and brothers) out there who had to undergo all of the same s*** stupid questions as I did. Don't be disheartened if you are not from the Albino community, some of the BS (Bulls***) said to me is highly amusing. 

I now bring you to the definition of the term "Albinism"/"Albino"

::::the congenital absence of pigmentation in the eyes and skin and hair.

Notice how it does not say 'THEY HAVE RED EYES.

Seemingly, many humans living in our world cannot comprehend the fact that Albino people actually exist- We're not as rare as you think- but we do get compared to animals an awful lot. 

For instance: 'I saw an Albino squirrel once' ...^ 

My reply: how nice for you, I haven't, I'm partially sighted.